All hope is gone

Im sorry if i have changed.. im sorry if im not the old Cheerful Cynthia..

My heart hurts a lot and its bleeding.. Its too hurt that i cant hold this tears anymore..

His gone now, leaving me alone and im hopeless..

He means a world to me that no one can could imagine..

His taking care of me since i was a child.. Fulfill my heart with his warmth of love..and now, it is cold

They said i have to moving on with my life..

What is dead never will come back alive..Ever!

But it is me..

I prefer to stay in love with my sorrow..

InsyaAllah, it will be healed by time..

But for now, i just cant..

Just let me here all alone..Im sorry friends if i have put a space between us..

Im not strong as before anymore.. Im losing myself  and i loved to lived in his shadow..

There is no time for stupid jokes or play around anymore..

I remembered, yesterday we go visiting his father grave, i cried and i said to him 'Kaka icha rindu babah'.. he hold my hand and he said, 'Ijat pn rindu babah, tapi kenapa babah meninggal awal sangat?'

i hug him and i Thank Allah.. Even this child is stronger than me.. He didnt cry. But sure i know, he loves his father just like i did..

he sent me to the airport yesterday and he hug me from the back ..i can see he really dont want me to go..but i have to.. i have promised him that i will be back..

Thank you roommate, for tried making me smile and laugh..
again, im sorry my old best friends, i have to let go of u guys..