Love is You

If i have my own family one day.. can i be a good wife to my husband or good mother to my child?? I dont know.. Nobody knows.. The future is not ours to see.. We can just live this life like what we should.. Never regret in everything that we have done because it is wasting time.. But, do learn from mistake and the best choice is to learn from others mistakes because sometimes, one mistake can ruin our life..We dont know..Sometimes, there is no second chances.. So, all we have to do is just appreciate everything that we have..Hold it and never let it go..

I have such a bad surrounding. broken family have teach me to be strong and brave..
Strong enough to earn my own money.
Strong enough to believe that im not like the other girl that had father.
Brave enough to fight for my right.
Brave enough to still standing here waiting for dad to change.

My friend said, i should let him go.. I should stop believing that he will change, that he will be someone thats not him. Someone that will love me..Mom asked me to hates him.. Tell me every words that he ever said about me, that he will never proud of me no matter what..
But my heart, it will never let him go.. Why is everything in my life, related to daddy?
Why can i just give up on him?

He never said that he loves me.. He never proud of me.. Im graduated, i have my diploma, im working just two weeks after I've finish my final exam. Seriously, how can someone do that?
I finished my martial art lesson.. i learn Boxing from him.. Non of my siblings ever interested on that like i did..
My face, just like him.. Everybody said that..

I have tried to hate him.. I push it too hard that the cracks is starting to show.
But still, i love him.. I love my father so much that my heart aches everytime i think about him..
I cried a lot because of him.. I cant stop thinking about him..
Why do i love him this much and how can someone take his child for granted?

Dad, if you could read it ..
i dont know, maybe one or two years from now.. or more..
i just wanted you to know, that im still your daughter and i will always waiting for you..
Im waiting for you to hold me like you did to sis and please stop calling me with my full name..
It sound do rough to me..


yours daughter~